When people are first intrigued by unschooling it is usually because they recognize the basic fact that children are natural born learners and that they learn much faster and with much less conflict if they are allowed to pursue the things that have ignited their interests. But I have found that a lot of folks are stymied by how to actually put unschooling principles into practice. I, myself, struggled with this for many years. I find that many unschoolers are into deconstructing formerly held assumptions. They seem to concentrate on working through the process of exploding concepts about children and freedom instead of focusing on the 'how to' aspect. They also tend to be ideological in their approach to unschooling which can make them state things in absolutes. Or they tend to talk in rather abstract maxims which are hard to translate into nuts and bolts, daily practicalities.
I am a nuts and bolts kind of person. So here is my take (and your mileage may vary, because ultimately everyone finds their own way) on how to unschool:
1. Relationship - the very core of unschooling is your relationship with your child. Work on cultivating a close, warm, affectionate, open, joyful, intimate, honest relationship with your child. Know your children deeply and be responsive to their development. As a Catholic Unschooler I think I need to openly work on cultivating my relationship with God. Actually, I think the proper order of relationships is God, spouse, children. If you have vibrant relationship with God, it will spill over into your other relationships. A healthy loving relationship with your spouse makes a beautiful home for your children to grow up in.
2. Modeling - the job of the unschooling parent is to model good habits and a love for learning. Let your children see that you are always trying to deepen and expand your own education. Eventually, they will follow suit.
3. Develop wholesome, healthy, practical rhythms for your family - chaos doesn't usually breed good things. Like the Bible says: there is a season for everything. Let this rhythm develop organically based on you and your spouse's natural proclivities, external obligations that shape your day and week (like when dad has to be at work, etc) and what allows good habits to develop when it comes to the basics like prayer, sleep, hygiene, good nutrition, exercise, etc.
4. Create a learning atmosphere in your home - surround your children with things that will broaden, inform and intrigue them. Go to the library regularly or give them access to books in some other way. Read to them. Put up pictures, posters and quotes on your walls that will attract and edify. Have lots of stimulating conversations. Listen to all kinds of music. Watch movies, lectures and educational TV together. Play games. Go on field trips and nature walks. Create projects together. Do science experiments. Take classes. Join clubs Google stuff. Raise pets. Attend concerts and plays. Volunteer together. Garden. Travel. Pursue hobbies, etc, etc.
5. Patience is key. Sometimes we can go through slumps. It happens to everybody. People get sick or plans fall through or sometimes life just falls into a lull. People need both busy and quiet times to be balanced and to be able to absorb and process what they are learning and experiencing. Some children develop academic skills quickly and others bloom later. So try to be patient with life's pacing and your children's unfolding development.
6. Deal with the issues your family encounters - if you have to do end of the year testing or present a portfolio to your county then tell the kids that and shape your learning atmosphere to accommodate that aspect. People have all sorts of creative ways to handle these things! If your in laws are really nervous about their beloved grandchildren's education (which by the way, I think is a completely natural response) then deal with that graciously and realistically. If your husband thinks math can't be unschooled then you might have to compromise. If you are uncomfortable with not approaching a subject more formally, bring that to your family's table and work out a solution.
7. Journal your days - this will keep insecurities at bay and will make you realize the tremendous amount of learning that goes on daily.
8. Respect your child's learning style - some kids thrive on order. They love workbooks. Or they go through a stage where they love workbooks and then they change on you! Some kids want to do everything themselves, others want you to sit right next to them and guide them. Some kids work best in short focused spurts of time, others disappear for hours working on something huge. Some kids learn to read by writing, some by just sitting next to you while you read to them, others want you to teach them. Some kids are really hands on and others just want to read or talk. Some kids show a natural talent for something early on, others seem to be generalists. Some kids are introverts, some are extroverts.
9. Have regular talks or meetings to assess and tweak what's going on in your household.
10. Cultivate a spirit of gratitude in your own heart. This will lead to joy and wonder which are prime characteristics of those who love to learn.
I am a nuts and bolts kind of person. So here is my take (and your mileage may vary, because ultimately everyone finds their own way) on how to unschool:
1. Relationship - the very core of unschooling is your relationship with your child. Work on cultivating a close, warm, affectionate, open, joyful, intimate, honest relationship with your child. Know your children deeply and be responsive to their development. As a Catholic Unschooler I think I need to openly work on cultivating my relationship with God. Actually, I think the proper order of relationships is God, spouse, children. If you have vibrant relationship with God, it will spill over into your other relationships. A healthy loving relationship with your spouse makes a beautiful home for your children to grow up in.
2. Modeling - the job of the unschooling parent is to model good habits and a love for learning. Let your children see that you are always trying to deepen and expand your own education. Eventually, they will follow suit.
3. Develop wholesome, healthy, practical rhythms for your family - chaos doesn't usually breed good things. Like the Bible says: there is a season for everything. Let this rhythm develop organically based on you and your spouse's natural proclivities, external obligations that shape your day and week (like when dad has to be at work, etc) and what allows good habits to develop when it comes to the basics like prayer, sleep, hygiene, good nutrition, exercise, etc.
4. Create a learning atmosphere in your home - surround your children with things that will broaden, inform and intrigue them. Go to the library regularly or give them access to books in some other way. Read to them. Put up pictures, posters and quotes on your walls that will attract and edify. Have lots of stimulating conversations. Listen to all kinds of music. Watch movies, lectures and educational TV together. Play games. Go on field trips and nature walks. Create projects together. Do science experiments. Take classes. Join clubs Google stuff. Raise pets. Attend concerts and plays. Volunteer together. Garden. Travel. Pursue hobbies, etc, etc.
5. Patience is key. Sometimes we can go through slumps. It happens to everybody. People get sick or plans fall through or sometimes life just falls into a lull. People need both busy and quiet times to be balanced and to be able to absorb and process what they are learning and experiencing. Some children develop academic skills quickly and others bloom later. So try to be patient with life's pacing and your children's unfolding development.
6. Deal with the issues your family encounters - if you have to do end of the year testing or present a portfolio to your county then tell the kids that and shape your learning atmosphere to accommodate that aspect. People have all sorts of creative ways to handle these things! If your in laws are really nervous about their beloved grandchildren's education (which by the way, I think is a completely natural response) then deal with that graciously and realistically. If your husband thinks math can't be unschooled then you might have to compromise. If you are uncomfortable with not approaching a subject more formally, bring that to your family's table and work out a solution.
7. Journal your days - this will keep insecurities at bay and will make you realize the tremendous amount of learning that goes on daily.
8. Respect your child's learning style - some kids thrive on order. They love workbooks. Or they go through a stage where they love workbooks and then they change on you! Some kids want to do everything themselves, others want you to sit right next to them and guide them. Some kids work best in short focused spurts of time, others disappear for hours working on something huge. Some kids learn to read by writing, some by just sitting next to you while you read to them, others want you to teach them. Some kids are really hands on and others just want to read or talk. Some kids show a natural talent for something early on, others seem to be generalists. Some kids are introverts, some are extroverts.
9. Have regular talks or meetings to assess and tweak what's going on in your household.
10. Cultivate a spirit of gratitude in your own heart. This will lead to joy and wonder which are prime characteristics of those who love to learn.
