I have these thoughts roiling around my head right now. I am sure though I have already thought them over and over again. I am sure I have posted these same thoughts before in one shape or another on this blog. I was talking to one of my sisters on the day of the funeral. She had moved recently to a much smaller place and had to go through a lot of stuff and get rid of it. She found all these old diaries she had kept over the years and started reading through them. "I just wrote about the same things over and over again," she said, sounding amazed at herself. "What was my problem???" Yep. I can identify with that!
Anyway, at the risk of repeating myself, somehow, here are what my priorities should be. I feel a new freedom in the fact that I am pulling way back on my volunteer obligations, even though I also feel wracked with guilt over it too. This coming year I will officially volunteer for the following: 1) Spirit Team leader for Becky's confirmation group 2) Co-leader of Becky's Pi/Pa AHG troop. 3) Religious Awards coordinator for AHG Troop.
That's it.
My husband is so happy about this. Yesterday at Mass they were asking for someone to step forward to lead the Marian Society. I leaned over and asked him, should I volunteer? He said: NO! I need him to keep me steady!
Instead I am going to make my priories thus:
1) Prayer and my relationship with Christ. Instead of feeling pulled in a hundred different directions and doing nothing as well as I would like, I 'll be less scattered and so should be able to really quiet my mind and focus on what is supremely important.
2) My job as mother and homemaker. This is a good sacrifice for me. I hide from these obligations by volunteering too much. The outside stuff is more important, or so I tell myself, and therefore I give myself an excuse. But I have got two sons who really need a focused mom to help them. I've got some homeschooling to do. I want to prepare Becky for high school this year. I've got a household to maintain (thus the name of this blog!). I've got a husband to love and support. We've got a wedding coming up! Those should be my main priorities.
3) My own health. Because I am tired and overwhelmed and stressed by all the external stuff I put on myself, I use these as an excuse for not planning meals well, not eating well, not exercising, etc. I have been doing this for years. I need to stop. It is self-destructive.
I think I'll stop there. I'll keep it simple. These three things encompass a lot. For prayer, for example, I am thinking of joining a scripture study group. I am trying to figure out when I can get to daily mass. Even though I don't want to lead any volunteer activities, I would like to help out at regular times. For instance as a family we could help make sandwiches at church once a month. That sort of thing. So life will still be very full, but pointed in a different direction.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Night Flight - Book 22
I stopped reading for a couple of weeks there. Actually, I didn't stop reading but I just couldn't get in to anything I started reading. Theology and Sanity seems to have just fallen by the wayside completely. I started reading The Monuments Men but frankly I thought the author was terrible. He took a really exciting idea and managed to make it boring. I started reading a P.G. Wodehouse Jeeves book (forget which one) and even that couldn't hold my interest. But once I got over the emotional bump of the funeral and things started to settle down, I made one last attempt. Since we are going to have an Argentinian student stay with us for a month this summer, I thought I'd read something set in Argentina, so I picked Night Flight by Saint-Exupery.
The only other book I've read by this well known author is The Little Prince, which is one of my all time favorite books. Night Flight has the same dreamy quality to it, but it is an adult novel, of course. It reminded me a bit of Camus in its plain telling of detail and sense of existential searching that permeates the book. When I was young existentialism struck me as profound and edgy, now it just annoys me. This book would have annoyed me more, except for Saint-Exupery's gentle, poetic language. What also annoyed me were the many typos in this Kindle version, and the nerve that Amazon (or maybe it is the publisher who sets the price?) has in charging over $8.00 for it. It's a short book! Surely someone could have proofed it before putting it out there in e-book land! Whatever happened to professionalism?
The story takes place during one night when the airmail must fly through changeable weather to deliver mail to various cities in South America, mostly Argentina. I guess it is set in the late 1940's/early 1950s? The head honcho is Riverie, a driven man, who has so enlarged his idea of duty (the mail must get through) that he willingly endangers the lives of his pilots and radio dispatchers. Under him is Robineau, a sycophant to Riverie's dictatorial methods. Neither of these men are likable but they are pathetic. Riverie is slowly working himself to death, in fact, the reader is in suspense wondering if he is going to have a heart attack on the job. Robineau is a lonely, lonely man who has no real relationships with anyone because he, like Riverie, has given over his life to his job. There are a couple of unnamed pilots we meet, but mostly we follow Fabien a pilot who is sent on into the night by Riverie even though he should not have been. The weather is beautiful and clear until a sudden cyclone moves in from the ocean. We meet two of the pilots' wives and we find out that Fabien has only been married for six weeks, when his boss puts him in mortal danger.
It is a depressing book that ends in uncertainty. In spite of this, I still want to read Saint-Exupery's other book Wind, Sand and Stars. He is a beautiful writer. I think the man, Saint-Exupery, is a really fascinating person.
For more book reviews go to Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks.
The only other book I've read by this well known author is The Little Prince, which is one of my all time favorite books. Night Flight has the same dreamy quality to it, but it is an adult novel, of course. It reminded me a bit of Camus in its plain telling of detail and sense of existential searching that permeates the book. When I was young existentialism struck me as profound and edgy, now it just annoys me. This book would have annoyed me more, except for Saint-Exupery's gentle, poetic language. What also annoyed me were the many typos in this Kindle version, and the nerve that Amazon (or maybe it is the publisher who sets the price?) has in charging over $8.00 for it. It's a short book! Surely someone could have proofed it before putting it out there in e-book land! Whatever happened to professionalism?
The story takes place during one night when the airmail must fly through changeable weather to deliver mail to various cities in South America, mostly Argentina. I guess it is set in the late 1940's/early 1950s? The head honcho is Riverie, a driven man, who has so enlarged his idea of duty (the mail must get through) that he willingly endangers the lives of his pilots and radio dispatchers. Under him is Robineau, a sycophant to Riverie's dictatorial methods. Neither of these men are likable but they are pathetic. Riverie is slowly working himself to death, in fact, the reader is in suspense wondering if he is going to have a heart attack on the job. Robineau is a lonely, lonely man who has no real relationships with anyone because he, like Riverie, has given over his life to his job. There are a couple of unnamed pilots we meet, but mostly we follow Fabien a pilot who is sent on into the night by Riverie even though he should not have been. The weather is beautiful and clear until a sudden cyclone moves in from the ocean. We meet two of the pilots' wives and we find out that Fabien has only been married for six weeks, when his boss puts him in mortal danger.
It is a depressing book that ends in uncertainty. In spite of this, I still want to read Saint-Exupery's other book Wind, Sand and Stars. He is a beautiful writer. I think the man, Saint-Exupery, is a really fascinating person.
For more book reviews go to Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
All Will Be Well
It is a beautiful spring morning. I'm out on my screen porch with a hot cup of coffee listening to birdsong. It 5:45 a.m.
Jackie's funeral went really well yesterday. St. Mark did a wonderful job. Father Pat was great; the resurrection choir sang beautifully. It was mostly family with a couple of people Jackie used to work with, a couple of friends from her arts club and several people from her old condo showing up to help say good-bye. The worst part of the day was Ronnie and I had to identify Jackie before they closed the coffin. I have seen my beloved family members just after they have passed away. I have seen them embalmed and made up for an open casket; I have never looked upon someone who has been deceased for 11 days and very minimally preserved. Poor Jackie. But after that, everything was lovely.
I (and Hannah helped too) enjoyed poring through Jackie's old photo albums and putting together a photographic timeline of her life. We put three poster boards with pictures up in the narthex of the church, plus we had her baby book from 1923, a photo album of her retirement from the George Meany Center, an album of her many trips to France and an album of her many adventures in Maine at her summer house. We also had a nice photo of her with (most) of her nieces and one of her paintings displayed as well.
After the funeral it was terrible trying to get to the cemetery because of all the road work being done. But we did finally get there. Father Pat gave the final prayers and blessings. We visited the rest of the family graves and then everyone came back to our house for a late lunch.
After eating and visiting, Paul pulled all the nieces aside and we learned we had each received a very generous inheritance. Thank you, Aunt Jackie!
After that we had drawings to see who would get some of Jackie's paintings and other little items. Everyone was so nice about it all. I really love my sisters. We each go off into our own little universes and we all have our irritating foibles (including yours truly) but in the end we love each other. We remember Mom and Dad and all the hard times and laughter and beautiful things that make up a family.
Other things are going on as well. Though Sean is going to stick out school for the remaining three weeks, he really has regressed in terms of behavior. So we've got to get through that. Will goes back to Boston tomorrow afternoon. Hannah has started up summer courses, she's taking two night classes. Things have just fallen apart in terms of Aquinas Learning. Becky was sick all last week and then we had the funeral arrangements, etc. I don't think we'll go back for the last day tomorrow. It's all about exams she isn't prepared for. I must try to tidy up my abrupt departure in some way though. Sometimes things just don't work out! Josh is home and job searching. We still have to finish cleaning out Jackie's apartment.
For years Rick and I have dreamed (with no real idea of it becoming a reality) of getting a backyard pool. I am not much of a pool person but mostly it is because of the crowds and chore of packing up and getting there and then coming home and dealing with wet suits, etc. But a few times now we've rented beach houses with pools and we have so enjoyed it. I realize that if I don't have to do all that other stuff and expose my fat self in a swimsuit to strangers, the pool is a lot of fun! Very relaxing. Also with Rick's arthritis and my own, being able to swim for our long summers seems like it would be a wonderful luxury. So when we saw how much we got from Jackie, Rick leaned over and said: does this look like a pool to you? I feel like it will be the Jackie A. Brophy memorial pool. She liked to swim and so did my dad. They were swimmers. So, anyway, I am kind of excited about that.
Jackie's Obituary
Jackie's funeral went really well yesterday. St. Mark did a wonderful job. Father Pat was great; the resurrection choir sang beautifully. It was mostly family with a couple of people Jackie used to work with, a couple of friends from her arts club and several people from her old condo showing up to help say good-bye. The worst part of the day was Ronnie and I had to identify Jackie before they closed the coffin. I have seen my beloved family members just after they have passed away. I have seen them embalmed and made up for an open casket; I have never looked upon someone who has been deceased for 11 days and very minimally preserved. Poor Jackie. But after that, everything was lovely.
I (and Hannah helped too) enjoyed poring through Jackie's old photo albums and putting together a photographic timeline of her life. We put three poster boards with pictures up in the narthex of the church, plus we had her baby book from 1923, a photo album of her retirement from the George Meany Center, an album of her many trips to France and an album of her many adventures in Maine at her summer house. We also had a nice photo of her with (most) of her nieces and one of her paintings displayed as well.
After the funeral it was terrible trying to get to the cemetery because of all the road work being done. But we did finally get there. Father Pat gave the final prayers and blessings. We visited the rest of the family graves and then everyone came back to our house for a late lunch.
After eating and visiting, Paul pulled all the nieces aside and we learned we had each received a very generous inheritance. Thank you, Aunt Jackie!
After that we had drawings to see who would get some of Jackie's paintings and other little items. Everyone was so nice about it all. I really love my sisters. We each go off into our own little universes and we all have our irritating foibles (including yours truly) but in the end we love each other. We remember Mom and Dad and all the hard times and laughter and beautiful things that make up a family.
Other things are going on as well. Though Sean is going to stick out school for the remaining three weeks, he really has regressed in terms of behavior. So we've got to get through that. Will goes back to Boston tomorrow afternoon. Hannah has started up summer courses, she's taking two night classes. Things have just fallen apart in terms of Aquinas Learning. Becky was sick all last week and then we had the funeral arrangements, etc. I don't think we'll go back for the last day tomorrow. It's all about exams she isn't prepared for. I must try to tidy up my abrupt departure in some way though. Sometimes things just don't work out! Josh is home and job searching. We still have to finish cleaning out Jackie's apartment.
For years Rick and I have dreamed (with no real idea of it becoming a reality) of getting a backyard pool. I am not much of a pool person but mostly it is because of the crowds and chore of packing up and getting there and then coming home and dealing with wet suits, etc. But a few times now we've rented beach houses with pools and we have so enjoyed it. I realize that if I don't have to do all that other stuff and expose my fat self in a swimsuit to strangers, the pool is a lot of fun! Very relaxing. Also with Rick's arthritis and my own, being able to swim for our long summers seems like it would be a wonderful luxury. So when we saw how much we got from Jackie, Rick leaned over and said: does this look like a pool to you? I feel like it will be the Jackie A. Brophy memorial pool. She liked to swim and so did my dad. They were swimmers. So, anyway, I am kind of excited about that.
Jackie's Obituary
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
It's Been a Little Bit Rough
My aunt finally passed away on Friday morning. She was really losing her grasp on reality at the end. I think it was all the pain killers. She was so upset with the hospice people and we, her family, couldn't tell if she was right or if she just wasn't understanding things because she was losing it. I tried to get her to move back with us. We had no idea how long this would go on or if she'd be in this confused state for weeks or months. Her doctor told us she'd had a patient like this for two years! But then they had to change her pain med because she'd lost so much fat, it could't be absorbed properly through the patch. They put her on something else but it wasn't working and she was still complaining of pain a lot. So they upped the dosage a bit and apparently that's what put her over the edge. She slipped into a coma on Tuesday and died Friday morning around 9:00 a.m. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye though I went to visit her the night before she passed. She wasn't conscious though. I stroked her forehead and called her name and her eyes flickered a little bit. Goodbye Aunt Jackie. You meant so much to me. Thank you for everything. I hope you are at peace now.
But the comedy of errors started then. We couldn't get the funeral home to come pick her up. We sat with her all day and they finally showed up at 3:30 p.m. Then we met with the folks at the funeral home, a home my family has always used but was recently bought by some company (used to be family owned) the guy who is working with us, while very pleasant is a bungler. He just moved here from New York and apparently things are done here differently?? And there is a big problem because Jackie died in D.C. but the funeral home is in VA. But the most frustrating thing of all is that Jackie requested to be cremated. She did this because she thought it would be less expensive and simpler. But D.C. is a cold hearted son of bitch because they can not promise to give the ok for cremation for up to three weeks.
Anyway, I do not want to document here how crazy it has been because of her passing and trying to plan a funeral and deal with cleaning out her apartment and notifying her friends, etc. I am too tired.
At the same time this is happening two things that have been simmering under the surface suddenly erupted. Sean is now officially miserable at school. Things that have happened there are just too much crazy, incompetent, stupid. He's on strike. I see no point in pushing him to finish.
I also have made the painful decision not to return to teach for Aquinas Learning. As much as I enjoyed many aspects of it, there was tension there and it occurred to me I really need to focus on my family. I can't keep giving, giving, giving. I have to circle the wagons right now and fight for my kids mental health.
I am so looking forward to relaxing and just being family and having freedom to learn as we please without having to jump through the hoops of other people's' ideas of education, no matter how noble the idea might be.
But the comedy of errors started then. We couldn't get the funeral home to come pick her up. We sat with her all day and they finally showed up at 3:30 p.m. Then we met with the folks at the funeral home, a home my family has always used but was recently bought by some company (used to be family owned) the guy who is working with us, while very pleasant is a bungler. He just moved here from New York and apparently things are done here differently?? And there is a big problem because Jackie died in D.C. but the funeral home is in VA. But the most frustrating thing of all is that Jackie requested to be cremated. She did this because she thought it would be less expensive and simpler. But D.C. is a cold hearted son of bitch because they can not promise to give the ok for cremation for up to three weeks.
Anyway, I do not want to document here how crazy it has been because of her passing and trying to plan a funeral and deal with cleaning out her apartment and notifying her friends, etc. I am too tired.
At the same time this is happening two things that have been simmering under the surface suddenly erupted. Sean is now officially miserable at school. Things that have happened there are just too much crazy, incompetent, stupid. He's on strike. I see no point in pushing him to finish.
I also have made the painful decision not to return to teach for Aquinas Learning. As much as I enjoyed many aspects of it, there was tension there and it occurred to me I really need to focus on my family. I can't keep giving, giving, giving. I have to circle the wagons right now and fight for my kids mental health.
I am so looking forward to relaxing and just being family and having freedom to learn as we please without having to jump through the hoops of other people's' ideas of education, no matter how noble the idea might be.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Catholic by Choice - Book 21
I read this book right after Jen Fulwiler's because it popped up on the final screen of my Kindle that said "people who read this book also read. . . .' and I had seen this book reviewed a while ago somewhere on the internet so I perked up and thought I'd check it out.
This book is beautifully written. The author is a poet and I guess because I had just finished Something Other Than God, the different style of writing really impressed me emotionally. Richard Cole writes so richly and in such a raw and honest fashion. I found the book mesmerizing. The more I read the more I felt like the author was telling my story too, to an uncanny degree, down to his trying to give up coffee in Lent or how his realization that when he brooded over his sin of self-absorption, that too was an element of self-absorption. How does one give up one's life for Christ when one's brain constantly and neurotically checks to see if one is giving up one's life for Christ? It's a vicious circle. I know that dilemma oh so well!
And the crying. He cries a lot. When I was first coming back to the Church, I could never go to Mass without crying. I didn't even know why. I think it was a combination of sadness, being overwhelmed by the beauty and the hope, the terrible realization of my own sins and the awful sordidness of the world, all the complexity and mystery. Tears would just stream down my face and my heart would ache. And I too have to keep convincing myself that God loves me. I never feel quite worthy, which is true I guess, but I can't separate that feeling from therefore not being loved. It is a little niggling thought at the back of my mind that I have to deal with constantly.
At the same time this book is funny too. It is wry and self-deprecating.
This book also moves much more slowly then Jen Fulwiler's (and I probably shouldn't be comparing them but since I read them back to back, I can't help it). Something Other Than God is a breezy recounting by someone who is just getting on in life with career and marriage and having babies. Cole begins his conversion journey at the age of 49. He's been married for years. He's already dealt with his own alcoholism, a life and career in New York City, trying out various other spiritual paths for quite some time (years dabbling in Eastern practices and Quakerism) before he finds himself drawn to Catholicism. Whereas I could not relate to Fulwiler's rapid conversion I can really relate to Cole's long, winding road.
Also, every thing that Cole says he likes about the Church are the same exact things that struck me as likable. On every page I was saying yes! So true! Exactly!
I also could relate to the fact that Cole's beloved wife was just not on the same page as he was in his spiritual journey. She was a cradle Catholic who had been really emotionally damaged by a very angry father who came to represent Catholicism to her. She couldn't separate his version of Catholicism from what Catholicism is in its purer form. As the child of an alcoholic father, I know that it is a very tricky business to forgive and to not let anger and hurt drive my soul, color all my judgments and perceptions. Yet at the same time she was so supportive of the author even though it took great sacrifice on her part to be so. It made her worried about their marriage; it made her feel like they couldn't be close. And he was feeling the same way. He describes converting in the way many have, including myself, as a falling in love. Here he was falling deeply in love and his wife was going just the other direction. How do you maintain a solid marriage that way, when the two things that speak to your soul at it's most profound level, your God and your spouse, are in two very different places? It is a really hard and puzzling mystery that you have to plumb every single day in some way or another.
The last part of the book recounts Holy Week and the final days up to his entrance into the Catholic Church during the Easter Vigil. I had tears in my eyes while reading it. Again, the fact that he loved the Litany of the Saints and even writes out the first part of it in the book, made me feel like he was telling my story. I have always loved the litany. It makes my heart soar! The whole thing was like a long romance that builds and the Easter vigil is the wedding day. A day of profound joy. There's a honeymoon and then you wake up one morning and have to go to work. The real test is in the every day living out of the vows you've taken. This book was really written 15 years ago but just published now. Cole is still a practicing Catholic, in love with God, but things are now a marathon and not a sprint anymore. Or rather as he puts it, a slow canoe ride where he is enjoying the present and wondering what he'll encounter around the next bend. He relapsed into drinking (when he takes that sip of the Precious Blood at the Easter Vigil I though, oh no! Just take the Host!), but he got back on the wagon eventually. His two boys are older now. Apparently, they homeschooled at least the younger (his oldest son in 3rd/4th grade was having issues at school at the time of the writing of the book). He doesn't say what happened with his wife's faith journey, not that I recall. I wish he had said something about that because I admired his wife so much.
At the end of the book he has a beautiful prayer by Thomas Merton which I am going to copy over and hang in my kitchen. And Cole gives a list of books he read that helped him with his journey as well as some movies. Again, I felt such a connection with him over these lists. He even mentions the best St. Therese movie out there, Therese, directed by Cavalier. I remember seeing that movie as a young 20 something with my mother. It is stunning in its beauty.
This book had such a strong impact on me. It was just the food I needed right now. Thank you, Mr. Cole and thank you, Jesus!
For more book reviews go to Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks.
This book is beautifully written. The author is a poet and I guess because I had just finished Something Other Than God, the different style of writing really impressed me emotionally. Richard Cole writes so richly and in such a raw and honest fashion. I found the book mesmerizing. The more I read the more I felt like the author was telling my story too, to an uncanny degree, down to his trying to give up coffee in Lent or how his realization that when he brooded over his sin of self-absorption, that too was an element of self-absorption. How does one give up one's life for Christ when one's brain constantly and neurotically checks to see if one is giving up one's life for Christ? It's a vicious circle. I know that dilemma oh so well!
And the crying. He cries a lot. When I was first coming back to the Church, I could never go to Mass without crying. I didn't even know why. I think it was a combination of sadness, being overwhelmed by the beauty and the hope, the terrible realization of my own sins and the awful sordidness of the world, all the complexity and mystery. Tears would just stream down my face and my heart would ache. And I too have to keep convincing myself that God loves me. I never feel quite worthy, which is true I guess, but I can't separate that feeling from therefore not being loved. It is a little niggling thought at the back of my mind that I have to deal with constantly.
At the same time this book is funny too. It is wry and self-deprecating.
This book also moves much more slowly then Jen Fulwiler's (and I probably shouldn't be comparing them but since I read them back to back, I can't help it). Something Other Than God is a breezy recounting by someone who is just getting on in life with career and marriage and having babies. Cole begins his conversion journey at the age of 49. He's been married for years. He's already dealt with his own alcoholism, a life and career in New York City, trying out various other spiritual paths for quite some time (years dabbling in Eastern practices and Quakerism) before he finds himself drawn to Catholicism. Whereas I could not relate to Fulwiler's rapid conversion I can really relate to Cole's long, winding road.
Also, every thing that Cole says he likes about the Church are the same exact things that struck me as likable. On every page I was saying yes! So true! Exactly!
I also could relate to the fact that Cole's beloved wife was just not on the same page as he was in his spiritual journey. She was a cradle Catholic who had been really emotionally damaged by a very angry father who came to represent Catholicism to her. She couldn't separate his version of Catholicism from what Catholicism is in its purer form. As the child of an alcoholic father, I know that it is a very tricky business to forgive and to not let anger and hurt drive my soul, color all my judgments and perceptions. Yet at the same time she was so supportive of the author even though it took great sacrifice on her part to be so. It made her worried about their marriage; it made her feel like they couldn't be close. And he was feeling the same way. He describes converting in the way many have, including myself, as a falling in love. Here he was falling deeply in love and his wife was going just the other direction. How do you maintain a solid marriage that way, when the two things that speak to your soul at it's most profound level, your God and your spouse, are in two very different places? It is a really hard and puzzling mystery that you have to plumb every single day in some way or another.
The last part of the book recounts Holy Week and the final days up to his entrance into the Catholic Church during the Easter Vigil. I had tears in my eyes while reading it. Again, the fact that he loved the Litany of the Saints and even writes out the first part of it in the book, made me feel like he was telling my story. I have always loved the litany. It makes my heart soar! The whole thing was like a long romance that builds and the Easter vigil is the wedding day. A day of profound joy. There's a honeymoon and then you wake up one morning and have to go to work. The real test is in the every day living out of the vows you've taken. This book was really written 15 years ago but just published now. Cole is still a practicing Catholic, in love with God, but things are now a marathon and not a sprint anymore. Or rather as he puts it, a slow canoe ride where he is enjoying the present and wondering what he'll encounter around the next bend. He relapsed into drinking (when he takes that sip of the Precious Blood at the Easter Vigil I though, oh no! Just take the Host!), but he got back on the wagon eventually. His two boys are older now. Apparently, they homeschooled at least the younger (his oldest son in 3rd/4th grade was having issues at school at the time of the writing of the book). He doesn't say what happened with his wife's faith journey, not that I recall. I wish he had said something about that because I admired his wife so much.
At the end of the book he has a beautiful prayer by Thomas Merton which I am going to copy over and hang in my kitchen. And Cole gives a list of books he read that helped him with his journey as well as some movies. Again, I felt such a connection with him over these lists. He even mentions the best St. Therese movie out there, Therese, directed by Cavalier. I remember seeing that movie as a young 20 something with my mother. It is stunning in its beauty.
This book had such a strong impact on me. It was just the food I needed right now. Thank you, Mr. Cole and thank you, Jesus!
For more book reviews go to Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Something Other than God - Book 20
I pre-ordered this book on my Kindle because I was so excited to read Jennifer Fulwiler's conversion story. I love her smart, funny approach to life and to being Catholic. I enjoy her Conversion Diary blog, in fact I remember reading her back when she was still wondering if she should be Catholic. I think. My memory is hazy but I remember a lot of debates with atheists and the classy way I thought she debated them. I was also curious about how much the book could really say. Would she just retell her story? She pretty much tells most of it on her blog. So the minute the book appeared on my Kindle, I plunged in. Well, the book is great. It did not disappoint. I read it in two days, shirking some of my duties to do so. I can relate to so much of what she reveals when it comes to that interior spiritual quest that goes on in the heart. What I couldn't relate to was the speed in which it all happened for her. I am so slow at this conversion thing! It took me years to get to where she got to in a few months.
I also was really envious of the fact that her husband converted at the same time. My husband very rarely really talks about religion. He's great in that he supports us by going to Mass and in many other little ways, but we never really talk about God and things spiritual very deeply. I asked him once, if you die, how do you want to be buried? Jewish or what? But he evaded the question and said: Well, I'll be dead so I won't care, do whatever works! I think it is very unfair. If I go first, he's got a set formula he can follow! Maybe we'll go together in a car or plane crash. Then our poor children will have to figure it out.
Anyway, I highly enjoyed this book. If you enjoy reading conversion stories by funny, intelligent women who ask the all the very same questions you have asked or are currently asking, this is the book for you.
For more book reviews go to Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks.
I also was really envious of the fact that her husband converted at the same time. My husband very rarely really talks about religion. He's great in that he supports us by going to Mass and in many other little ways, but we never really talk about God and things spiritual very deeply. I asked him once, if you die, how do you want to be buried? Jewish or what? But he evaded the question and said: Well, I'll be dead so I won't care, do whatever works! I think it is very unfair. If I go first, he's got a set formula he can follow! Maybe we'll go together in a car or plane crash. Then our poor children will have to figure it out.
Anyway, I highly enjoyed this book. If you enjoy reading conversion stories by funny, intelligent women who ask the all the very same questions you have asked or are currently asking, this is the book for you.
For more book reviews go to Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Journaling the Day 5/1/14
R drove S to school. B and I were very late getting to Aquinas due to 1)I forgot to put the dryer on with my clothes I was planning to wear 2) B moves like molasses in the a.m. 3) the roads around us were still shut down from flooding so what usually took under 10 minutes took 25 minutes (to get to toll road). So B missed most of the first class (history). This makes her unhappy since she really loves history and the mentor for that class.
I was nervous about teaching the class, afraid I hadn't planned well. One never quite knows how things are going to go. On top of that I had not 1 but two visiting moms watching me! But the class seemed to go really well. We talked about Howard Pyle and we set the context for Otto of the Silver Hand. We talked a lot about our latest drafts and corrections to be made. Got a lot of stuff sorted out. We practiced our declamation for the showcase this Saturday. That didn't go so well so I was a bit nervous. Then I corrected a couple of late essays, had a good conversation with one of the moms who was visiting. She was really cool. Worked on prepping for Latin class. Had a good talk with Katherine the nurse about Aunt Jackie. Latin class went well. The end of the year is rushing upon us. Intro to Latin teacher let us take up some of her time to practice for the showcase again. Felt better after that. I think the the kids will do well.
S got out of school early but H was able to pick him up.
Came home, helped S study for Latin exam, speech therapist came, we had pizza for dinner. S had to stay up late studying for biology. R came home in a bad mood. Printer broke again so he spent a long time fixing it.
I was nervous about teaching the class, afraid I hadn't planned well. One never quite knows how things are going to go. On top of that I had not 1 but two visiting moms watching me! But the class seemed to go really well. We talked about Howard Pyle and we set the context for Otto of the Silver Hand. We talked a lot about our latest drafts and corrections to be made. Got a lot of stuff sorted out. We practiced our declamation for the showcase this Saturday. That didn't go so well so I was a bit nervous. Then I corrected a couple of late essays, had a good conversation with one of the moms who was visiting. She was really cool. Worked on prepping for Latin class. Had a good talk with Katherine the nurse about Aunt Jackie. Latin class went well. The end of the year is rushing upon us. Intro to Latin teacher let us take up some of her time to practice for the showcase again. Felt better after that. I think the the kids will do well.
S got out of school early but H was able to pick him up.
Came home, helped S study for Latin exam, speech therapist came, we had pizza for dinner. S had to stay up late studying for biology. R came home in a bad mood. Printer broke again so he spent a long time fixing it.
Journaling the Day 4/30/14
Overslept. Didn't get out of bed until it was past time to get S up. Hurriedly fed pets and made coffee. Made S's lunch and then we drove to school through pouring rain. Drove home the backroads because I didn't want to be on the crazy racetrack of a tollroad when the rain started coming down so hard I couldn't see anything. Got back later than usual. Got Becky up and fed before math tutor arrived. Finally got to take a shower!
Read some more of Jen Fulwiler's memoirs. Hard to put down.
Started prepping for class tomorrow. Researched Howard Pyle, robber barons, etc. Helped B with her Latin. Corrected more papers. Darn printer would not work. Keeps saying jam when there is no jam. I turned it off and on and everything I could think of and no printing. Had to refigure how I was going to do class tomorrow with inability to make copies or print stuff. Shoot!
Rained like crazy. Heard weird roaring sound, like an airplane. Went outside and it was the creek rushing into the pond through the big pipe they'd put in. Loud! The world is a flood.
S was supposed to stay late after school to work on biology project but it was supposed to be videoing botanical stuff outside. The guy who was in charge just left and didn't say it was canceled (though of course it was because of the torrential rains). Sean waited for 20 minutes for the guy to show up and finally called me. I picked him up and it wasn't too bad out but coming back the main road was very slow because of high water and the road our cul de sac is off is closed due to flooding. I told S I was not willing to drive him to his teen group meeting at church this evening. He was bummed but really, it is awful out there right now.
Started working more on class plans then got distracted and started reading the book again. B came and got me and asked where's dinner. Oops! Went and made chicken fried rice from yesterdays leftovers. S liked it but B didn't and made herself a can of soup.
I hope R comes home soon. It has been strangely quiet about Jackie. No emails or phone calls about her at all.
I just finished lesson plans. Need B to do some logic homework while I clean the kitchen and get laundry on. Then I'm going to bed early to read my book!
Read some more of Jen Fulwiler's memoirs. Hard to put down.
Started prepping for class tomorrow. Researched Howard Pyle, robber barons, etc. Helped B with her Latin. Corrected more papers. Darn printer would not work. Keeps saying jam when there is no jam. I turned it off and on and everything I could think of and no printing. Had to refigure how I was going to do class tomorrow with inability to make copies or print stuff. Shoot!
Rained like crazy. Heard weird roaring sound, like an airplane. Went outside and it was the creek rushing into the pond through the big pipe they'd put in. Loud! The world is a flood.
S was supposed to stay late after school to work on biology project but it was supposed to be videoing botanical stuff outside. The guy who was in charge just left and didn't say it was canceled (though of course it was because of the torrential rains). Sean waited for 20 minutes for the guy to show up and finally called me. I picked him up and it wasn't too bad out but coming back the main road was very slow because of high water and the road our cul de sac is off is closed due to flooding. I told S I was not willing to drive him to his teen group meeting at church this evening. He was bummed but really, it is awful out there right now.
Started working more on class plans then got distracted and started reading the book again. B came and got me and asked where's dinner. Oops! Went and made chicken fried rice from yesterdays leftovers. S liked it but B didn't and made herself a can of soup.
I hope R comes home soon. It has been strangely quiet about Jackie. No emails or phone calls about her at all.
I just finished lesson plans. Need B to do some logic homework while I clean the kitchen and get laundry on. Then I'm going to bed early to read my book!
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