Pain hurts

I woke this a.m. with a migraine that didn't quite morph into a horrible, nausea-inducing migraine.  It seems to be fading, but for the first two hours I was up, I couldn't blog because light made me queasy and sent shooting pains through my left brow.   But now I'm feeling a bit better.  Thank you, Jesus!  I know why I got the headache though.  Chocolate.  I ate some of my kids Halloween candy yesterday.  Bad, bad, bad.  Very self-destructive on my part.

Yesterday was weird.  The weather was beautiful and the morning started out great but somehow things petered out into gloom, despite the lovely day.  And poor Seano.   He's got two best friends.  One he used to see at least once a week and often more and then another he talks on the phone with often but sees in person more like once a month.  But he is getting shunned by the first friend for the last month or more.  He used to have a standing playdate with this friend on Wednesdays.  But he hasn't had one for three weeks.  The first week there was some reason why they couldn't get together.  Then second week, there was no explanation.  Then Sean asked over the weekend if they could get together this Wednesday.  The answer was yes, but when Sean called yesterday, his friend just gave him the brush off.  They go to the same youth group at church and the weird thing is that the last two times they'd been at an event, his friend has completely ignored Sean.  This never happened before, but Sean excused it by saying (this broke my heart):  "He's with his school friends and they're all cool and I'm not."  So yesterday when Sean got the brush off, it was very hard to see the hurt and rejection.  This is the son I am very worried about because he seems so sad and lonely so much of the time.  My heart was just raw all afternoon and evening.  And there wasn't much I could do.  I can tell him I love him.  I can try to distract him, but I can't fill the hole in his heart right now.  I can't heal the hurt of being rejected by someone he cared for and trusted.

I don't even blame his friend because I know that childhood friends can be volatile.  They can move in and out of intensity.  Kids, as they grow, can grow apart.  But it is hard to see your child go through this rejection.

My son is sad and I am too.

I know I should be philosophical about all this.  I know that this, too, shall pass.  I know we all need to embrace these little crosses in life.  I know that there are many, many others out there who are in terrible straits feeling much greater pain and hopelessness.  I do have that perspective and it is helpful.

But even so, pain hurts.

The migraine is threatening to come back in full force if I keep typing.

I'll ask for help from St. Martin de Porres, one of my favorite saints ever!  It's his feast today.

St. Martin de Porres, pray for us!  Pray for all whose hearts are broken today.