Priorities

I have these thoughts roiling around my head right now.  I am sure though I have already thought them over and over again.  I am sure I have posted these same thoughts before in one shape or another on this blog.  I was talking to one of my sisters on the day of the funeral.  She had moved recently to a much smaller place and had to go through a lot of stuff and get rid of it.   She found all these old diaries she had kept over the years and started reading through them.  "I just wrote about the same things over and over again,"  she said, sounding amazed at herself.  "What was my problem???"  Yep.  I can identify with that!

Anyway, at the risk of repeating myself, somehow, here are what my priorities should be.  I feel a new freedom in the fact that I am pulling way back on my volunteer obligations, even though I also feel wracked with guilt over it too.  This coming year I will officially volunteer for the following:  1) Spirit Team leader for Becky's confirmation group 2) Co-leader of Becky's Pi/Pa AHG troop.  3) Religious Awards coordinator for AHG Troop.

That's it.

My husband is so happy about this.  Yesterday at Mass they were asking for someone to step forward to lead the Marian Society.  I leaned over and asked him, should I volunteer?  He said:  NO!  I need him to keep me steady!

Instead I am going to make my priories thus:

1)  Prayer and my relationship with Christ.  Instead of feeling pulled in a hundred different directions and doing nothing as well as I would like, I 'll be less scattered and so should be able to really quiet my mind and focus on what is supremely important.

2)  My job as mother and homemaker.  This is a good sacrifice for me.  I hide from these obligations by volunteering too much.  The outside stuff is more important, or so I tell myself, and therefore I give myself an excuse.  But I have got two sons who really need a focused mom to help them.  I've got some homeschooling to do. I want to prepare Becky for high school this year.  I've got a household to maintain (thus the name of this blog!).  I've got a husband to love and support.  We've got a wedding coming up!  Those should be my main priorities.

3) My own health.  Because I am tired and overwhelmed and stressed by all the external stuff I put on myself, I use these as an excuse for not planning meals well, not eating well, not exercising, etc.  I have been doing this for years.  I need to stop.  It is self-destructive.

I think I'll stop there.  I'll keep it simple.  These three things encompass a lot.  For prayer, for example,  I am thinking of joining a scripture study group.  I am trying to figure out when I can get to daily mass.  Even though I don't want to lead any volunteer activities, I would like to help out at regular times.  For instance as a family we could help make sandwiches at church once a month.  That sort of thing.   So life will still be very full, but pointed in a different direction.