My aunt finally passed away on Friday morning. She was really losing her grasp on reality at the end. I think it was all the pain killers. She was so upset with the hospice people and we, her family, couldn't tell if she was right or if she just wasn't understanding things because she was losing it. I tried to get her to move back with us. We had no idea how long this would go on or if she'd be in this confused state for weeks or months. Her doctor told us she'd had a patient like this for two years! But then they had to change her pain med because she'd lost so much fat, it could't be absorbed properly through the patch. They put her on something else but it wasn't working and she was still complaining of pain a lot. So they upped the dosage a bit and apparently that's what put her over the edge. She slipped into a coma on Tuesday and died Friday morning around 9:00 a.m. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye though I went to visit her the night before she passed. She wasn't conscious though. I stroked her forehead and called her name and her eyes flickered a little bit. Goodbye Aunt Jackie. You meant so much to me. Thank you for everything. I hope you are at peace now.
But the comedy of errors started then. We couldn't get the funeral home to come pick her up. We sat with her all day and they finally showed up at 3:30 p.m. Then we met with the folks at the funeral home, a home my family has always used but was recently bought by some company (used to be family owned) the guy who is working with us, while very pleasant is a bungler. He just moved here from New York and apparently things are done here differently?? And there is a big problem because Jackie died in D.C. but the funeral home is in VA. But the most frustrating thing of all is that Jackie requested to be cremated. She did this because she thought it would be less expensive and simpler. But D.C. is a cold hearted son of bitch because they can not promise to give the ok for cremation for up to three weeks.
Anyway, I do not want to document here how crazy it has been because of her passing and trying to plan a funeral and deal with cleaning out her apartment and notifying her friends, etc. I am too tired.
At the same time this is happening two things that have been simmering under the surface suddenly erupted. Sean is now officially miserable at school. Things that have happened there are just too much crazy, incompetent, stupid. He's on strike. I see no point in pushing him to finish.
I also have made the painful decision not to return to teach for Aquinas Learning. As much as I enjoyed many aspects of it, there was tension there and it occurred to me I really need to focus on my family. I can't keep giving, giving, giving. I have to circle the wagons right now and fight for my kids mental health.
I am so looking forward to relaxing and just being family and having freedom to learn as we please without having to jump through the hoops of other people's' ideas of education, no matter how noble the idea might be.
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