Disgust and Distrust

I was a Pope Francis fan.  I loved what he preaches about the environment and about immigration.  I am glad about the revision of the catechism on the death penalty.  But he seems to be really mismanaging the sex abuse crisis and cover up.  He warns against the dangers of clericalism, yet he seems to be completely enmeshed in it himself.  I'm afraid he has lived in the climate of accepting the idea that priests just have this tendency to abuse and be unfaithful to their vows of celibacy. He is part of the good old boy network that wants to 'protect' the hierarchy of the Church at pretty much all costs. 

Doesn't he realize that something diabolical has gotten a hold of the Church for the last 70 years (at least) and is going to undercut any good the Church does?  That once you forsake your moral authority, no one wants to hear what you have to say about family, how to be more Christ-like, etc.  If it looks like you don't know what right and wrong are to begin with, who is going to take your advice or guidance seriously? 

The bishops have been like an Anti-Christ.  They are busy having important meetings where they talk to each other,   I am so soured on them.  They look so foolish to me now dressed in their clerical garb, so self-important while they preach to the hordes leaving the Church.  Maybe their goal is to have completely empty pews?  I keep reading or hearing faithful Catholics who are really questioning being Catholic.  I talked to one woman who turned to the SSPX after her daughter was abused by a priest.  She didn't want to leave the Church, but she saw that the things the SSPX had been decrying were true.  So she reluctantly left because she felt she could not raise her child in the Roman Catholic Church.  She was counseling me to stay and fight the good fight!

I know of other Catholics who are thinking, hey maybe the conservative Anglican Church is the way to go. They still claim apostolic succession.  B's voice teacher goes to one of these congregations.  Others are turning to the Orthodox Church. 

I went with a small group of Catholics to pray and protest in front of Cardinal Wuerl's residence in Dupont circle.  Apparently, it was McCarrick who moved the residence there and spent millions of dollars creating a beautiful apartment for himself in the well known gay district of DC.  Wuerl lives there now.  These men think they are princes and can do whatever they want.

And now we have an ex papal nuncio saying that he knows Pope Francis knew about McCarrick.  And that he personally told Wuerl about him. 

I'm glad that more AG offices are starting to investigate the Church.  What these men have been doing is criminal.  I don't want to belong to a criminal organization.  If the Church refuses to clean up her own act, let the government in!  I'd rather be part of an underground Church, smaller but with her eyes truly on Christ than to be part of a huge corrupt organization that uses whatever it does for good, as a shield to legitimize its vast corrupt hierarchy.   I want a Church that is in the world but not of the world.  I am not a conspiracy theorist, but this is what is right in front of our faces.  This corruption is world wide.  The culture of the seminary and the hierarchy has bred this on a global scale. 

After 2,000 years of existence, when the Church has fought scandal after scandal, you'd think that they'd have figured how to create accountability and transparency.  But they don't really want that.  They don't want to be accountable.  And transparency means they'd have to live virtuously instead of with all their pomp and self-importance.

The fact that Pope Francis appointed Cardinal Tobin, McCarrick's protege in New Jersey, the Cardinal of the famous "Nighty-night baby, I love you" tweet as the head of the synod on youth is absolutely the most tone deaf decision ever made.  Pope Francis can pull a long face and spout words of contrition.  Blah, blah, blah.  I am sick of words.  These men are such salesmen.  The Church is all PR anymore but for decades it has been hollow.  The parishes continue to empty.  They are such ineffectual leaders.  One Mother Teresa did more than all these bishops combined.

I think I am going to give myself one year to appraise whether I stay or go.  A year spent in prayer, study, acts of reparation, and works of mercy.  I want to stay and fight.  I went to the prayer gathering/protest with my sister.  She was saying that is was going to be the state of things for the rest of our lives.  That it would take the Church another 50 years to get through this, if it can even then.  We'll be dead and in our graves.  We are watching the decline of the Church and she is her own worst enemy.